I gotta say, marriage isn’t exactly what I expected it to be. All those years of playing Barbies and house were just a teensy bit different than the real thing. We were happy with our homes being located in a rocky ditch in our backyard and my “husband” always loved to eat my mud pies. There weren’t too many disagreements, but if there were, we’d just quit playing with each other. We might have even said “I’m not your friend anymore” and walked away with our arms folded. That’s because this was all pretend. Remember those days?
Unfortunately for 8 year-olds, marriage is real-life. And when I say real, I mean REAL.
It’s a love like no other. It’s one of the greatest gifts that God has blessed His people with. Though it may not be as fun or easy as playing house was, it’s way more rewarding.
My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married almost 9 of those years. Starting our marriage when we were still young, it’s had a lot of time to change and grow. The biggest change being God. Though we were both believers in the beginning, God was kinda left out. It wasn’t until year #7 that God truly got invited in. Things have changed a lot since then. And for the better!
I am in by no means the perfect wife. I am far from it. I make a lot of mistakes and don’t treat my husband the way that he deserves most days. If you read Taming Your Negative Monster, then you’ll know that I have issues to work on. Many affect my husband. Taking a look at the Biblical aspects of a wife, there is a lot of direction from the Word on how to function in this role. Here are five characteristics of a Biblical wife.
1) Noble character
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4
As a wife, we should strive to hold to what we know is right (morally) and to demonstrate that in how we live. This means staying strong in our faith and beliefs firmly fixed and making our husbands proud (his crown) of the strength of our character.
2) Proverbs 31 focused.
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship; she brings her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes. She quilts her own bedspreads. She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth. Her husband is well known, for he sits in the council meeting with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. – Proverbs 31:10-27
Just as the church is married to Christ and worth the blood of Jesus (he died for it!), a godly, faithful, and fruitful wife is of great worth to her husband. This humongous verse describes the Biblical wife in detail. A lot to live up to, huh? One of my favorite parts is when it says “she watches for bargains”. THAT’S ME! See? I’m totally a Proverbs 31 wife. Whatever our strong suits, this is a fantastic list with a broad range. She’s trusting, worships The Lord, economic with finances, works hard for her household, talks well about her husband to others, kind, sets a good example, raises her children well, and fears The Lord.
I can see a lot I need to work on. I pray that I can use these verses as my guide for my role as a wife. I love when the Bible paints such a clear picture of what we are supposed to do.
3) Part of a team
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6
This one is a good reminder that in marriage, we have become one. I know that we hear this a lot, but really wrap your head around it, won’t you? We women like to have our along time. Am I right? I know that I do. We also have a tendency to sometimes do things on our own. This verse is a reminder that no matter how much we enjoy doing this alone that we are now a part of a team. And with that, we need to keep our other half informed, involved, and included. Remember that each of you are not singular and work on a common vision as a couple. This one is a hard one for me since I’m a do-it-yourself kinda gal, but I want to remember our oneness like the Bible tells me, too.
4) Submits to her husband
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. – Colossians 3:18
This is a highly talked about command in the Bible. Some don’t believe this is still necessary in today’s society, but they are mistaken. Submission is a matter of respect. It doesn’t mean that as wives we are inferior. It simply means that we are to make conscious volition allowing our husbands to be the leader of our household.
5) Sets an example
In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered. – Titus 2:3-5
If you’re a younger married women, then this is the kind of lady that you want to become. And obviously if you are already there then you are setting an example and you may not even know it. However, if you have a daughter then you are already setting an example. You are exhibiting how respect, self-control, purity, work around the house, raising children, kindness, and submission are done. Young ladies and women are like sponges to those around them. Show them Christ through your actions as a wife.
All of this is easier said than done. Am I right? There’s not a perfect wife that ever lived. Even Eve who had everything in the world that she would ever need as a wife made mistakes. *ahem* Let’s all give Eve a round of applause for childbirth, shall we?!
I am encouraged knowing that I can always look to the scriptures for guidance in how to be a more biblical wife.
I’m also thankful that I got to read the book Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages by Darlene Schacht just recently. She is a blogger and one heck of a writer. This book is teeming with honesty and bursting at the seams with truth. She takes the reader through various issues that many marriages face and gives biblical advice for how to deal with those. I felt completely challenged during the whole book. Reading about what Darlene has learned throughout her marriage is quite refreshing because she’s just so real. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies and just like the title of her book, it’s messy.
It’s also very beautiful.
Thank you God for the precious gift of marriage and the unique covenant that we are able to make with and our husbands and with You. It’s such a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church.
No matter what stage of marriage you’re in, this book is an encouraging and challenging read. I highly recommend it!
This giveaway will end on Friday, November 21st at 12:00am CT. The winner will then be chosen at random by Rafflecopter. I will contact the winner on November 22nd and they will have 24 hours to respond. If I have not heard from them in 24 hours, I will name a new winner. This giveaway is open to those in the US only.
I received a copy of Messy Beautiful Love for the purpose of review by Family Christian. All opinions expressed are 100% my own.